As a guy that used to have to wrestle frozen birds in the freezer case, I can personally attest that the only beards I ever saw in there were being worn by the old ladies that wanted to see how big the birds were at the bottom and needed me to fetch them for them to look at. Usually they had blue hair too.
My wife says Butterballs are way cheaper than the birds I bring home, but for me, not near as sporting. Talk about unresponsive toms this year!!